When it comes to Easter eggs, are you real or fake?
Based on nothing but uninformed opinion combined with my tendency to paint current parenting techniques with board strokes, I suspect most moms and dads are taking the easy way out and going plastic.
And if for some crazy reason there is actually some truth in that statement, what are you parents thinking?
Those who buy plastic eggs, drop in bit of candy into each one and toss them carelessly behind furniture or under shrubs are sullying the good name of the Easter Bunny, whose approval ratings are far below that of Santa Claus and may even be approaching those of the Tooth Fairy, a creature that traffics in decayed enamel.
Plastic eggs only hop you down the bunny trail of ruin. Easter is a time of large pots filled with eggs and boiling water, followed by coloring with impervious dyes as likely to find their way onto favorite clothes as they are eggs.
That’s what Easter is all about.
Here are five reasons to use real rather than fake Easter eggs:
- Decorating is fun and easy. Dole out the markers for the true artists in your family, but dipping is the way to go for most of us. It’s especially fun for toddlers who have no idea where the egg ends and their hands begin. Dyed fingers are a sign of proper parenting.
- You can slip in a few raw eggs for pranks. Or revenge. Older brother making fun of your decorating skills? Take him on a trip to Splat City. Don’t worry about punishment, Easter amnesty is implied.
- Plastic eggs will just wind up in floating garbage island in the Pacific. Or so you have to assume given the size of that thing.
- The confectionery contents of plastic eggs are likely to be consumed at a feverish pace, resulting in sugar rush and scattered crankiness. Real eggs will only lead to increasing chance of egg salad sandwiches.
- Undiscovered hard-boiled eggs will reveal their location in a few weeks. Plastic eggs will look for their chance to flee to garbage island.
Like All the Moms?