Why you should celebrate Mother's Day like you're a dad

Why you should celebrate Mother's Day like you're a dad

Holidays

Why you should celebrate Mother's Day like you're a dad

When I was a kid, Mother’s Day was a time of great peril.

My mom took every Mother’s Day card, church sermon, commercial and Hallmark special as a personal accusation that everyone else had this mothering thing down to a science, but she didn’t measure up.

This could not have been further from the truth. Mom was smart and hilarious and loving. She kept five kids fed, schooled and 100 percent not murdered in our beds.

But if you gave her a card with a Perfect Mother on the cover, she’d probably think you were mocking her.

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Even worse, if you gave her nothing at all, you were also accusing her of being a terrible mom.

Credit: Giphy

The best course of action, then, was to make sure her room was stocked with novels and Diet Cokes the night before, slide as neutral as possible a card (“Dear Mom: I acknowledge you on this day that shall not be named. Best wishes, me”) under her door on that dreaded Sunday morning and run, not looking back until the clock struck midnight.

It was like “The Purge: Family Edition.”

Mom’s been gone a few years now, and (I just checked) she’s still not haunting me. I think of her not just for the obvious reasons when the holiday drags itself around every year, but because I see echoes of her in the annual hand-wringing over Mother’s Day and what it all means or why it makes us feel bad.

And frankly, I find it exhausting. And annoyingly self-involved.

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Dads get it right, if you ask me. They don’t look for deeper meanings in Father’s Day. They just take their damn ties and ice-cream cakes and sleep in the recliner with their pants off while sports happen on the TV like they deserve it.

Because they do. Just because they’re dads and their families love them and want to show it.

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And moms deserve the same thing.

Are you the woman of the house who has to stick her hand in the toilet when somebody drops something that doesn’t belong there?

You deserve Mother’s Day.

Did you wake up at 4:30 a.m. to get a kid to the bus for the field trip?

You deserve Mother’s Day.

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Do you sometimes settle for chicken nuggets because that’s what the kids want?

Dear God. Do you ever deserve Mother’s Day.

So take your damn flower and brunch, then fall asleep in front of the TV to sports or costume drama or whatever does it for you. With or without pants. Your call.

Happy Mother’s Day. Your family loves you. You earned it.

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