This survey proves it: The tooth fairy is a total cheapskate!

Womans hand lifting a pillow showing a tooth waiting for the tooth fairy Raton Perez in Spain. Petite Souris in France.

This survey proves it: The tooth fairy is a total cheapskate!

Humor

This survey proves it: The tooth fairy is a total cheapskate!

As if anyone needed proof the Tooth Fairy is the cheapest fairy, a survey found the enamel-loving creature pays all of $3.25 for each baby tooth.

Looking beyond the inherent creepiness of anyone buying pre-owned teeth via a late-night transaction that both parties agreed should happen under a pillow, that seems a paltry amount for an organic, locally sourced product that took years to produce.

The price takes the “fair” out of fairy.

So how much does the tooth fairy give per tooth on average?

According to a survey of 1,238 adults by LendEDU, kids are earning an average of $3.25 per baby tooth regardless of condition. And you thought teachers were underpaid (P.S. – they are).

Credit: Giphy

When I lost my baby teeth in 19-something-something, I received a dollar for each one. Not any old dollar, but a silver dollar. That’s like $150 today, if you substitute hyperbole for math.

And that dollar had a whole lot of buying power. I would take it right down to the liquor store, which had by far the best selection of candy (it never seemed odd that a business targeted the upper and lower ends of the age demographic, though it would be like finding condoms at a Gymboree).

That dollar would buy nearly 20 candy bars (at a nickel each, minus the tax), almost a whole day’s worth of sugar, as well as a good start toward destroying my permanent teeth.

Credit: Giphy

Turns out the fairy was pretty generous to me

According to the LendEDU survey, baby boomers received 69 cents per tooth, an amount kids today wouldn’t even bother removing from under their pillow because it wouldn’t buy a handful of gems on even the lamest app. OMG, 69 cents is so stupid!

Credit: Giphy

According to the same survey, Gen Xers received $1.29 per tooth, though they would have been happier with an “I Lost a Baby Tooth” participation trophy.

The LendEDU survey found Millennials got $2.13 per tooth, an amount so perfect it should have set the benchmark for all future Tooth Fairy transactions.

Which brings us to Generation Z and its disappointing $3.25.

Thank goodness, Zers, that you’ll be able to turn in a sack of gold coins the next time you play your favorite app with mom and dad at that boring restaurant and you’re almost at the next level and OMG, fine, if you order will your parents please leave you alone!?

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