So if you haven’t seen this yet, your blood’s about to boil.
Well, if you’re anything like me, it is…
A soon-to-be grandma wrote in to Slate‘s “Dear Prudence” advice column asking what to do about the fact that her son’s wife doesn’t want her in the delivery room when she gives birth.
She spews out some completely ridiculous bullshi*t like how it’s:
- making her feeling like a second-class grandma
- unfair because she was a nurse for 40 years and has seen everything
- insensitive because Julia (her daughter-in-law) is letting her own mom in there but not her
“I’ve tried to reason with Steven, but he seems to be afraid of angering Julia and will not help. I called Julia’s parents and asked them to please reason with their daughter, but they brusquely and rather rudely got off the phone. I’ve felt nothing but heartache since learning I would be banned from the delivery room. “
She says she can’t even bring herself to talk to Julia now. If I am Julia, I am thinking that’s not a bad thing…
When I first read grandma-to-be’s letter I thought…OH HELL NO
Oh. Hell. No.
It’s time for a rant.
When my husband and I were having our first, we told my mom and his mom no one was going to be in delivery room except the two of us.
Did it sit well with my mother?
I don’t think she was too thrilled.
But you know what?
SHE KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT, bless her little heart.
We did tell my mom and my dad they could be in the hospital room before delivery while I was laboring. And that was comforting for me! Because I did need a mom around. And I didn’t mind having my dad there to keep my husband occupied.
But when it came time to actually birth said child?
It’s incredibly painful and gross! I did NOT want this to be a public event with popcorn and a live-stream. And you know what? That is a mother-to-be’s right.
I am eternally grateful I didn’t have to deal with added stress from my mother and mother-in-law whining about how my decision to experience the arrival of our children was to be a private affair.
As it turned out, I had a very difficult labor. Both my children were born via C-section — with only my husband in the room.
that’s another thing that this crazy a*s mother in law doesn’t understand
There’s no telling how a child-birth is going to progress. The smartest thing you can do for any laboring mom is keep her calm and keep her comfortable. Make her feel supported, amirite?
God forbid something should happen that would require extra doctors or nurses, that’s stressful enough.
The process of giving birth to a child is stressful enough.
Having to manage a Monster-in-Law’s expectations?!?! It’s beyond… No. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.
I can’t even think of how bad it is.
And how selfish it is.
If this is how she is now, just imagine the future
And I really feel bad for that woman and her husband. Because if her mother-in-law is going to be like this with the delivery, what else will she gripe about in the future?
- Is she going to want to be the one who throws the child’s first birthday?
- Is she going to want to be there to walk the child to school on the first day?
- Is she going to make every single momentous event in this kid’s life about her, just because she’s the mother-in-law?
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. She had her chance to raise a kid!
Now she gets to be a grandma, and she has to learn her boundaries. Her job is to be supportive of her son and his wife without being an overbearing pain in the ass.
And that’s what I have to say about that.