5 types of gym people you don't want to be

5 types of gym people you don't want to be

Humor

5 types of gym people you don't want to be

So you’ve decided 2018 is the year you get in shape. Not only are you going to ignore the doughnut’s siren call, but you’ve joined a gym, using the monthly fee as impetus.

Despite what my physique suggests, I’ve been going to the gym long enough to fit in, even if my body doesn’t. Myself and the other habitual exercisers know that this time of year, two things are true:

  1. We’ll see many new people
  2. They’ll be doing some really annoying stuff.

Credit: Giphy

Truth is, our hope that you succeed is exceeded only by our desire that you won’t get in our way (yes, we’re like that, and you’d never know it).

Here are five types of people you don’t want to be, should you want to look like you’ve been doing this for years:

The Parker

You sit at a machine between sets, looking at your phone, perhaps adjusting your playlist. Don’t park yourself. It’s fine to stand nearby, but give up the space should someone want a turn.

The Groaner/Shaker/Noisemaker

You grunt and groan as if giving it 110 percent, so impressive. You also walk to the beat of your drink-shaker, mixing powder and water far beyond label recommendations. Shh. Silence is strength. No, really.

The Non-Wiper

You can mark where you’ve been by a trail of sweat along the equipment. Bring a small towel and clean up after yourself. And if you sweat profusely after 10 minutes on a cardio machine, squirt some sanitizer on a paper towel (you’ll probably find both nearby) and wipe it down. People will nod and think, “That is some serious courtesy.”

The Futilely Clad

The way you’re dressed says that both mirrors and a sense of decorum were unavailable when you chose your outfit. Men are the most likely offenders, wearing torn T-shirts held together by a few threads that reveal not only torsos, but their misguided sense of outside interest in their appearance.

Credit: Giphy

The Wanderer

Unfamiliar with the equipment, you roam aimlessly, waiting for informative clues as to how to use a particular machine. This is an easy fix. Request a tour from staff members, or simply ask another member. We’re a friendly bunch, as long as you’re not parked on our favorite machine.

Credit: Giphy

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