Surveys show the vast majority of dog owners buy Christmas gifts for their hairy, low-to-the-ground family members.
Spend five minutes in the pet-treat aisle of any store and you’re done. Anything else, is going above-and-beyond the call of duty as a good pet mom or dad.
While your dog may prefer something he can drool over, literally, like a bone to gnaw on, here are some dog gifts that you will probably appreciate more than Fido.
Available from a variety of manufacturers, these bowls include zigzagging ridges or nubs that force dogs to eat slowly for their own good.
Price: $6 and higher, depending on size and manufacturer.
This vacuum attachment is designed to brush the dog, sucking up loose fur. A lovely idea if not for vacuums being every dog’s arch nemesis. It would be like Batman getting a massage from the Joker. You know it’s probably not going to end well.
Attach this hoop to your garden hose and pass it over your dog for a quick bath. While many canines enjoy water, it’s the kind they can jump in while chasing a ball.
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For dogs, the beauty of riding in a car is two-fold: sticking your head out an open window, or perching on the center console. The fabric barrier is designed to prohibit the latter. (Of course you should always harness or crate your dog when driving, safety measures that suck out all the fun of a ride in the car.) Safety trumps fun.
Price: $15 and higher.
It’s one thing to be muzzled, and another to look like a duck. Your dog sees you laughing as you steady the camera while going on Facebook Live. She’s thinking, “A shame to think what’s about to happen to the quilt your grandmother sewed from your childhood clothes. It could have been so easily prevented.”
Put your dog in the PooTrap harness, hook the PooTrap disposable bag over the PooTrap hook that’s both conveniently and awkwardly situated, then go buy a goldfish because you are way too lazy to have a dog.
Price: $38-$59, depending on size.
This electronic communication device, about the size of an iPad, has a video screen, camera, speaker and treat dispenser, allowing you to appear via smartphone app – and totally freak out your dog. That’s where the treats come in.
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Did your dog get caught in the rain? Stuff him into this bag, hook up a hair dryer and let it blow (just make sure it’s not set on high). That’s assuming you can get your dog in the bag before he’s dry after fleeing in terror.
Price: $35-$70, depending on size.
Each month features a different dog in roughly the same humiliating pose. Downward dog, indeed. Good thing dogs lack self-awareness because this would send them over the edge.
Price: You’re not really considering this, are you? Oh, it’s for a White Elephant party? Perfect. $15.