Ladies, future mothers of the bride – or groom – please do not follow this mother’s lead.
Slate’s ‘Dear Prudence’ advice columnist Mallory Ortberg gave one reader, a mother of a bride, some harsh advice via her weekly live chat about a particular wedding aesthetic that left her daughter not talking to her.
A mutual friend of the newly engaged couple and best friend to the bride has a birth defect that makes her walk with a limp.
Mother dearest wanted to know what advice Ortberg could give to encourage her daughter to not include the friend in the wedding party.
She would look “unsightly” in the wedding party
Katie, the girl identified in the question, has been the bride’s best friend since they were 4 years old, the mother admits.
“Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me,” Mom said.
She goes on to describe how Katie has “no problem wearing heels” and has already been fitted for her bridesmaid dress.
Yet, mother of the bride said, “I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter.”
She mentioned to her daughter other roles for her friend that involve sitting down or being out of sight. Like handing out wedding programs or taking a video.
“We were never that close…”
No surprise, her daughter quit speaking to her. Adding, “we were never that close.”
However, mother of the bride wants her daughter’s wedding day to be “perfect.”
She asked if it was wrong to have Katie sit out of the wedding party. After saying, “All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter.”
She is trolling, right? Sadly, she was not.
The villain in a “Reese Witherspoon movie…”
Ortberg tells the mother of the bride to re-read what she wrote and ask herself one simple question.
“Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie?”
Um, yes. Yes you do.
Ortberg points out how the mother of the bride said that Katie was like a daughter to her. Yet, she wanted to “shove her to the side of your other daughter’s wedding just because she walks with a limp.”
“Your daughter’s wedding will be perfect with Katie as a full and honored member of the bridal party,” Ortberg said.
Take a heart check, Ortberg said
The columnist told the mother of the bride that Katie’s limp is not a “fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life.”
“It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this,” Ortberg said.
She said it’s also cruel and speaks to a “massive failure of empathy, compassion and grace on your part.” She urged the mother to immediately apologize to her daughter.
But Ortberg didn’t stop there.
“I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart,” she said.
Hopefully, the mother reconsidered and apologized to her daughter.
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