On Mother’s Day, KFC unleashed upon the moms of Earth a gift that shall be sung across the ages: a romance novel starring Colonel Sanders as a finger-licking Fabio with a thing for mom jeans.
We haven’t heard anything about the chicken chain’s Father’s Day plans (although, let’s be honest: The people in charge of planning Father’s Day celebrations are less likely to look to the drive-through for the family’s big holiday meal).
Props to KFC’s marketing team, however, for the idea to send its spicy chicken sandwich, the Zinger, out of this world via a stratospheric balloon. The four-day mission that launches around June 21 will be “the longest controlled stratospheric balloon flight with a commercial payload and will involve several consumer-facing activities,” according to MediaPost. To recap, a chicken sandwich sent into space — really — because marketing people say it seems like something Colonel Sanders would do.
KFC fans can follow on the journey at kfcin.space.
Well then. That still leaves Father’s Day.
But Father’s Day…
If you’re listening, KFC, here are five ideas for Father’s Day promotions you really should consider for next year (send us a check — we know from your planned space flight you’re good for it).
1) Ties made out of paper napkins. It’s a tie. It’s a guilt-free disposable thing to wipe your face with. Perfect.
2) “No. 1 Dad” gravy mugs. Nobody’s judging here.
3) Sports-themed sporks. It’s a sports spork. Fun to say, even more fun to eat with.
4) Bucket o’ scented golf balls. In original recipe and extra crispy.
5) And, keeping with the Mother’s Day literary theme, “Double Crunch,” a John Grisham-style novella about a poor but honest country lawyer (Sanders) who uncovers a nefarious plot in state government that’s as dense as a tub of mashed potatoes while working with a mysterious woman who’s as spicy as a plate of Nashville hot chicken. It practically writes itself.