Fast-food giant KFC knows what you really want for Mother’s Day.
And that is to eat something certifiably unhealthy, read a spicy romance novel you wouldn’t admit to at Book Club and be left the heck alone.
KFC can’t help you with that last part, but it is giving moms the gift of “Tender Wings of Desire,” starring Colonel Sanders as a finger-licking Fabio who will bring you mashed potatoes and gravy and a spork to eat it with before he carries you and your mom purse off to a seaside castle for sweet loving and a fun-size Bundt cake.
The 96-page novella tells the tale of Lady Madeline Parker, who runs from a loveless engagement and into the arms of a “handsome sailor with a mysterious past.” Presumably the heaving breasts and supple thighs that ensue come in original recipe or extra crispy.
According to CNN Money, KFC says Mother’s Day is a big deal for the food chain, with sales spiking 40 percent when Dad and Kid America suddenly realizes it is responsible for dinner, forgot to get reservations and Mom America is tapping her foot impatiently.
The novella will be included with the chain’s $20 Fill Up meal and can be downloaded for free from Amazon.com, where at last check it had six five-star ratings.